Once, my bandmate Beth Kinderman and I were driving I-94 from Chicago to Minneapolis. That drive is dreadful. You're in Chicago, then you're in Wisconsin, then Wisconsin, and Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin, more Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin, and suddenly you're in Minneapolis. And Beth made an observation about that route, and then said I should write a song about it. Not her, even though she's a better and more prolific songwriter than me. So I did.
This song originally appeared on my album "This Is How Elvis Died".
lyrics
Driving through Wisconsin, going to or from Chicago
You're probably stuck on highway 94
You may need gas or coffee or you maybe wanna pee
More likely you're just feeling really bored
Construction cones and moo-cows, radar traps and roadkill
Billboards shouting everywhere you see
The billboards tell you what's in store if you dare leave ol' 94
Fireworks, pornography & cheese
The Dells are just a tourist trap, Madison's just students
Some people drink Milwaukee's shitty beer
No one knows why Tomah's there, that's also true about Eau Claire
Hudson just means Minnesota's near
We'll save the best for the middle (or well maybe, I won't go there)
The punch line of this joke, Menomonie
Menomonie, monotony, monotony, monotony
Fireworks, pornography & cheese
The highway, America's love affair with road trips
The slowest way of getting there - no, that's steamships
But steamships cannot get you across Wisconsin
It's not slow, it's just way too long
Are we there yet?
Harleys in the summer, snowplows when it snows
Trailers filled up to the brim with junk
Buses, milk trucks, moving vans, SUVs with Packer fans
Rusty cars with deer strapped to the drunk
Smoke bombs and M-80s, [insert something pornographic here]
Cheese of almost every sort but brie
You can live without this stuff, but you don't really wanna
Fireworks, pornography & cheese
Your money's gone and so's your gas, you can't escape Wisconsin
Your car's filled with explosives, food, and sleaze
You didn't mean to buy it all, but you just had to go there
Fireworks, pornography & cheese
Astrisoni is a filk powerhouse. I'm proud to have co-produced their first album, along with Beth Kinderman. "Pure of Heart" is one of my favorite songs ever. Dave Stagner
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