Off some suburban exit Near abandoned strip malls Faint odor of fast food Kinda makes my skin crawl Up ahead in the distance I see a parking space Google Maps says that I’ve arrived I guess this must be the place Couldn’t find registration I guess no one’s in charge And I was thinking to myself This hotel just can’t be that large I went looking for ops staff No one showed me the way There were voices down the corridor Thought I heard them say Welcome to the Hotel Concellation Everyone is gone You can’t find the con Plenty of rooms at the Hotel Concellation Happens every year You can’t find a beer The art show’s totally empty There are no honored guests We don’t have pretty cosplay kids Or any friends How they wander the lobby Rank gamer sweat Some drink to remember Some drink to forget So I called up the con chair Asked if anything’s fine He said the con’s been running here since 1969 And still those voices are calling from far away Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say Welcome to the Hotel Concellation Everyone is gone You can’t find the con No one ever goes to the Hotel Concellation It was no surprise Schedule full of lies Music circle’s silent No one ever comes We are all just panelists here Of our own fandoms And in the empty consuite They gathered for the feast They stabbed it with their plastic knives But they just can’t kill the Beast Last thing I remember I was getting really bored Had to find a passage back To the famous party floor Relax, said the con chair We all love make believe You can pre-reg for next year But you can never leave (parody of "Hotel California", by the Eagles)